never play flip cup with pint glasses
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
