you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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