I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
