she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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