Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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