You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
