I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
