i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Alive.
So much puke
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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