Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
