I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
