Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
