He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
