Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
