He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
