I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
