So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
