Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
