we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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