I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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