We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
