good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
