Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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