What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
