omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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