dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
