You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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