He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
