I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
