she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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