pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
