it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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