Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
