Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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