Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
