Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
