so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
