I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
