I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
