I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
