My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
