fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
