I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
