yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
is that a dick in a sweater?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
