She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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