New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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