My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
