My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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