Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
