i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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