Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You work out of a Hotel?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
