would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
